Let’s talk about trains! I’m kidding. Seriously who needs to read another word on trains and whether they are running, packed, cancelled, non-existent, etc? No, when I say trains I’m talking about The Train Guy.

If you are unfamiliar, The Train Guy is a character from our wonderful national treasure Bob Mortimer.

Back when train travel wasn’t so arduous, (when exactly was that??) one of the most irritating things on a train was that guy. That guy talking ridiculously loudly in some kind of jargon-heavy gobbledygook, treating the train like an extension of his personal office. The Train Guy is for all of us who have ever had to endure someone wanging on in jargonese in a confined space.

Here’s a short one – Belgian Loffles. (FYI there are a ton more to watch and enjoy.)

This clip contains the gems

“He wants realisable abstractions with semi-fluid boundaries”


“You need to have a mind tumble”


So, why am I telling you this? Aside from passing on the joy of The Train Guy if you hadn’t yet discovered him, my purpose is to champion plain English, again.

Trust me, no one wants to hear or read stuff like the utter tosh that comes out of Train Guy’s mouth, in an actual workplace setting. Absolutely no one anywhere any time wants pish and piddle or convoluted jargon. Just say it like it is. Why? Your target market wants it is why.

Using plain English is not dumbing down. It’s making it easier for your target market to make a choice about why you. Everyone appreciates plain English. It’s clear. It’s concise. It allows people to make quicker purchasing decisions as they can grasp the meaning, with no ambiguity. Plain English speaks to the audience in their language. It’s accessible. It’s understandable. It’s good for business.

If you can’t do plain English call me. I can.

Also, bookmark this great resource http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/free-guides.html

Also, I highly recommend Bob Mortimer’s autobiography – And Away, which as you might expect is an utter delight.