I like, because it makes me smile, that some Australian towns thank you for visiting as you drive out by farewelling you – there are signs that say ‘Porpoise Spit farewells you’ at the edge of town. The first time I saw one of those signs I thought it sounded clumsy and forced but it grew on me. But can you imagine Blackpool saying “Blackpool ta ras you” as you leave? Me either.

However, despite being very much in the same vein, I very much dislike “medalled” – as in won a medal. What is wrong with just ‘won a medal’?

And I flipping loathe a current telly ad that talks of “guesting” – guest how you like, apparently. There’s no humour in it, no knowing wink. It’s unironically using guest as a verb. A linguistic crime, surely.

As I have said many times, I love evolving language. I genuinely do. Shakespeare verbed his way through half his plays and we’re all richer for it. We happily text each other, Google things, and DM our mates – I draw the line at inboxing though – I hate that. Nobody’s mourning the loss of “send a direct message via social media platform”. Language should be efficient and alive, and, that word again, evolving.

But this? This isn’t evolution. This, in my humble opinion, is laziness dressed up as innovation.

“Medalling” is linguistic corner-cutting. We had a perfectly good phrase – won a medal – that told you something. “Medalled” could mean anything from Olympic gold to a participation certificate for turning up and even sounds identical to ‘meddled’, which means something entirely different. ‘They medalled in the relay’ versus ‘They meddled in the relay’ – spot the problem/difference? It’s flattening meaning for the sake of saving half a second. And “guesting”? It’s corporate marketing-speak trying to make staying in a hotel sound revolutionary. You’re not “guesting differently”. You’re just…maybe…staying somewhere new.

I think what bothers me is the trying too hard factor. Anything that seems forced, trying too hard to be clever, to be different, to stand out in a crowded market. It’s OTT and a bit naff.

So where’s the line? I reckon it’s this: if verbing a noun gives us something genuinely useful we didn’t have before – like “text” or “Google” – then fine, bring it on. But if you’re just trying to make something sound more interesting than it is, or you’re too idle to use the words we already have, then no. Just no.

Your turn

What verbing crimes get on your wick? Are you with me, or do you think I’m being a linguistic killjoy? Do drop me a comment with your worst offenders or alternatively, feel free to tell me I’m wrong.